Winter’s Haven

I’ve been watching the X-Files recently, and I’ve slowly come to the realization that the entire show is one enormous conspiracy. A product placement conspiracy. But how, you ask, can product placement be a conspiracy? After all, isn’t it common knowledge that advertisers pay to have their products appear in movies and TV shows? This conspiracy, however, goes much deeper than Mulder’s choice of cola.

Consider the evidence: In a typical episode, Mulder and Scully show up to investigate some bizarre crime or paranormal phenomenon. This is dangerous work, but they are trained FBI agents, and they have guns. They should be able to fend for themselves, right? Wrong. Invariably, they follow the trail of evidence into a dark location with creepy ambient music. If they have any light source at all, it’s a Mag-Lite flashlight, which, in the show, seems to generate about as much illumination as a gutted tea candle. And, invariably, some psychotic mutant jumps out of the shadows and tries to eat them alive.

With these critical points in mind, the conspiracy becomes obvious. The entire show is, in fact, a creation of Surefire — the company that makes those blindingly bright LED flashlights which are especially marketed to gun owners and law enforcement. The explanation has been hiding in plain sight all along.

This entry was posted 2007-Mar-3 and is filed under Misc, Technology. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.